Running with the Bulls = Dangerous

This picutre illustrates why you need to think long and hard about it when you decide to Run with the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain.

Ouch! That’s gotta fucking hurt.

Virgin America Brings New Meaning “In-flight Entertainment”

August 8th was the maiden flight for Virgin America in the United States. Flights from San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York will mark the first time that Virgin Airlines offers flights within the US. So the big question now is how is Virgin America going to compete in the already crowded US airline industry?

The answer: Virgin America is going to provide luxurious features that few (Jet Blue) other US airlines offer. And they are going to offer them to all passengers, and still price their flights reasonably.

The key to Virgin’s in-flight experience is their entertainment system, called RED. It will allow travelers to choose between satellite television via Dish network, video games, internet access, on-board email, chat and pay per view movies. The chat feature allows users to chat between seats on the plane. RED also allows users to select from a list of thousands of MP3s on the plane to listen to music during the flight. They will also use RED to order food and then pay via credit card. Virgin also offers minibars on the plane that let people get their own drinks. And Google Maps is bundled into RED, for those that want to chart their journey.Each seat also provides 110-volt power, a USB port and Ethernet jack for all tech needs.

In first-class all of the entertainment features will be free. In economy class seats, there will be a charge for the services.

And the mood of the Virgin America planes is different. Each plane has special mood lighting, that will adjust from “dawn” to “blue sky” to “dusk” to give passengers a more relaxed feeling. And they offer fancy leather seats, that were designed by the same company (Recaro) that builds seats for Mercedes, Ferrari and Jaguar. Virgin planes even have music playing in the bathroom, to cover up the sounds of couples interested in joining the mile high club…or people who had a bad lunch.

A look inside the cabin of a Virgin Airlines America flight. Mood lighting gives a new experience to air travel.

So the question is when are the rest of the airlines going to be able to offer these same features? I think American, Continental, Delta and United need to step up their game to provide this level of service.

Japan’s N700 Bullet Train goes 1/2 as fast as a plane…

This thing is first class all the way. 1300 passengers made the maiden voyage from Osaka to Tokyo, in just under 2.5 hours. It even leans into turns!

The entire train is a free WIFI hotspot, providing commuters all the diversions they need to pass time.

I wish the US had the same infrastructure in place for railways as they do in Europe and Asia. I’m notcing that as I get older, I get less and less comfortable with the turbulence on planes. I know speed is an issue, but at a certain point I think I’d be willing to make that sacrifice. Besides, you always have to account for all the other hassles involved in flying besides just the time spent in the air.

As someone that’s taken trains all over Europe, there’s something oddly enjoyable about riding on a train and getting to watching the different locales go by. Although I’m sure that would get old if you were commuting the same route everyday.
(source)

Where was this place when I was in college?

If you ever happen to be in Barcelona, and you’re a beer drinker, you need to visit the little Cerveceria Apolo. Located next to the famous Sala Apolo, this place has a few things that make it special. First, every table has it’s own tap. That’s right, you pour your own beers! You might be asking “How do they know how much to charge you?”

Good question. They have monitors that tell them exactly how much liquid passes through the tap. If that’s not crazy enough, here’s the kicker; the tap monitors are in full view of all the patrons. In other words, everyone in the bar knows who the lightweights are. Take it a step further, and its easy to see tables competing with one another to see who guzzles the most suds. Come to think of it, I think I know why we don’t have places like this in the States.

Can you imagine the liability?

Screw that. Just think about how much fun that place would have been in college right after finals.

I’m feeling hungover just thinking about it.

(source)

How to Beat a DWI

First off, I’d like to be clear that those of us DontCostNothing.com would never, ever advise drinking and driving.  Take a cab.  Call a friend.  Walk.  Rent a bicycle.  But, if you ever do get pulled over after throwing down a few, remember the following…

Be very, very polite. 

Yes sir.  No sir.  If you end up going to jail and you’ve been difficult, you could find yourself in a not so pleasant cell with a not so pleasant cellmate.  And, if they don’t like you, they can take extra time with your paperwork.  The first thing you’re gonna want when they lock the door on you is to get out.  Every minute can be excruciating. 

Pick a number, make it low, and never forget it.

The police are going to ask how many drinks you’ve had.  I’m reminded of a scenario when a good buddy of mine was asked how many women he’d slept with by his new, naive girlfriend.  Thinking on his feet (or on his back) he told himself: “Pick a number, make it low, and never forget it.”  That said, here’s your answer:

“1 or 2″

Next question.

Ask yourself, as you’re being pulled over, ‘How drunk am I?’ 

If you’re hammered, and they ask you to do a field sobriety test, politely decline and request to speak to your lawyer.  They’ll cuff you and put you in the car and take you to jail.  But this is much better than slurring into the camera and miserably failing the sobriety test.  Remember, from the second you get pulled over, everything is on video.  Sometimes the video comes on while they’re behind you, before they pull you over.

If you’re not hammered, but borderline, go ahead and take the tests.  As long as you don’t appear to be a mess, the video won’t hurt you too badly. 

The police might ask you to blow into a roadside breathalyzer. 

If you think you can beat your state’s legal limit (.08 or .1), go for it.  But, and this is very, very important to remember, the roadside breathalyzer is not admissible in court.  It’s been proven to be inaccurate.  It can only serve to give the police a measuring stick, so to speak.  

So they decide to take you downtown. 

Continue to be polite.  If you’re wasted, keep quiet.  I know, I know.  Easier said than done.  When you get to the station, before you’re booked they’ll ask you to blow into the “official” breathalyzer.  There is no reason to blow into this thing.  If you’ve gotten this far, even if you blow under, you’re not going home.  Don’t blow.  I repeat:

DO NOT BLOW.

The downside to this is that your license is automatically going to be suspended, regardless of whether you’re ever convicted.  In Texas, for example, it’s six months.  But it’s not the end of the world.  For about $150 you get a worker’s permit and you can drive pretty much wherever you want.  You have to keep a log in your car of where you go.  And you’ll want to keep this current, in case you get pulled over.  Do not, under any circumstances, drive on a suspended license.  You will go to jail for simply rolling through a stop sign.

Why don’t you want to blow?

It gives the state concrete evidence.  I know it sounds like you’re hiding something or that it’s incriminating to not blow, but a decent attorney can get around that very easily.  The first question most attorneys will ask is whether you blew at the station.  Yes, it sucks your license will be suspended, but it’s worth it.  A good attorney can get you off if you blow over the legal limit, but it’s a lot more difficult and you’re more likely to go to trial which is not only gut wrenching, but expensive.

The Bond

You’ll be informed of your bond when you’re being booked.  For a first time offense, it can range from $1500 to $6000 - rough estimate.  If you can come up with this cash up front, do it.  You’ll get it back once everything is settled - regardless of the outcome.  If you can’t, it’s bail bondsman time.  The bond company will charge you 20% of the full amount.  If you’re in for three grand, they’ll pay the court three grand and you pay them $600 and you never see it again.  You’ll also have to check in with the bondsman, maybe weekly.  They need to know you haven’t left the country.  You’ve seen Dog the Bounty Hunter. 

Selecting your attorney.

Most of us know an attorney or two.  Even if the attorney you know doesn’t take this kind of case (most don’t) they’ll know someone who does.  Or they can point you in the right direction.  Also, if any of your friends have been through this, talk to them.  Do not, under any circumstances, take a court appointed attorney.  If you get pulled over in a small town, do not hire any of the local attorneys.  They’re bums.  It’s worth the money to hire a reputable attorney.

You’re  looking at around $4,000 to $7,000 in attorney fees, assuming you’re not Paris Hilton and can’t afford to spend $300K on a DWI defense (which didn’t turn out, did it?).  If you go to trial, you’re looking at about a grand a day.  Seems like a lot, I know.  But you really, really don’t want a DWI on your record.  The fine can be steep and in some states you have to pay an annual fee of $2,000-$3,000 for the first three years after the conviction - that’s separate from the initial fine.  Your license will be suspended again - though in some cases they’ll count the first six month suspension as time served.  Your car insurance will triple.  You can’t rent a car.  You can also spend time in jail.  And it’s on your record for life.  They don’t go away after seven years or anything like that.

Most cases don’t go to trial.

Your attorney will work very hard to strike a deal with the state.  He (or she) will review the video with the prosecuting attorney and discuss options.  The prosecutor will discuss the situation with the police who pulled you over.  If the cop’s a hard ass, it’s tougher to make a deal.  And when I say make a deal, I mean plead guilty to obstructing a roadway or some other bullshit charge.  If you can come to that agreement, you’re looking at a fine.  Maybe up to three grand, but not much more.  The state is prone to accepting these pleas because it saves court costs and guarantees the state will at least get a little money.  Going to court and getting a not-guilty verdict costs the state (and the taxpayers) a lot of money.  The flip side is a not guilty verdict is the absolute best result.  Nothing on your record, no fine.  You can have the arrest expunged from your record, too, for a small fee - around $400-$500. 

The best way to avoid a DWI is to not drink and drive - it’s dangerous and can have horrible consequences.  Again, the men of Don’tCostNothing.com do not advise drinking and driving under any circumstances. 

Lazy people in Las Vegas need “The Rascal”…

 

I guess it’s just been one of those days.

I’m the only one left here at the office on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend, and I’ve got nothing better to do other than to surf the far reaches of the Internet.  You’re obviously saying to youself, “…just go home you idiot!”.  I wish it were that easy.  We’ve got a FedEx pick-up that I’m waiting on.

Anyways, I posted that picture earlier this morning of that lady pushing her baby stroller (with kid inside) while riding on a Segway herself.  I don’t know the lady personally, but she better have an f-ing good excuse for that kind of crap.  How lazy are we these days?  Was she wearing a cast that I couldn’t see?  From the picture it actually looks likes she’s working much harder than had she just been hoofing it on her own two feet.  Dumb.

Nonetheless, in my boredom, I ran across this article from MSNBC about the increasing number of people in Vegas that are renting motorized scooters to get around The Strip, and even inside the casinos.  These are the exact same vehicles usually reserved for the handicapped and the elderly.

Link

Am I over-reacting here, or is this not ridiculous?  Get off your asses!!  I’m assuming these people are all married because they sure as hell aren’t getting laid riding around on one of those things.  Not even Brad Pitt could make “The Rascal” look cool.  I realize the strip is just huge now, but get in a cab if you feel like you have to see everything.

“It was all the walking,” 27-year-old Simon Lezama said on his red Merits Pioneer 3. Lezama, a trim and fit-looking restaurant manager from Odessa, Texas, rented it on day three of his five-day vacation, “and now I can drink and drive, be responsible and save my feet.”  Who goes to Vegas for 5 days Simon?  How were the nickel slots at the MGM?  Did Celine get a standing ovation?

To be fair, they’re not doing anything illegal.  The rental agencies do not discriminate, as they’re willing rent to anyone willing to pay, and the renters are entitled to all the privileges afforded to the actually handicapped.

Just my opinion, but save “The Rascal” for those that need it.  If you’re enjoying Vegas the way it was meant to be enjoyed, you should be too drunk to drive that thing anyways.  It’s not even a stretch of my imagination envisioning my buddy Mikey doubled over on that thing in his urine-soaked khakis without spilling a drop of his Crown and Coke, and still managing to bitch out the new guy for splitting kings.  Ah, Vegas.

That’s all I’ve got.  Enjoy your 3-day weekend!

Rules for Airplane Travel

A few things that everyone should abide by when taking a plane trip or heading to the airport.

AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENING:
* At the security screening, everyone should know the routine by now. Put your loose change, watch, cell phone, keys, shoes and belt in the bin to run it through the XRay. Who are the idiots who think 2 quarters, a nickle and a dime won’t set off the metal detector? Come on people, let’s try to get through the metal detector in only one try.

* Memo to airport security Xray personnel. I haven’t received in any advanced training in airport security hand signals. So if you are wanting me to do something, use words.

AIRLINE PERSONNEL:
* I grew up in era when we called them a stewardess, so she’ll always be stewardess to me. Please don’t correct me and tell me to refer to them as “flight attendants”.

* If you have a dick and you want to work in the airline industry, I’ll suggest 3 options for you: Pilot, Maintenance or Baggage handler. The positions of Stewardess and Gate Agent were meant to be staffed by women.

* I’m all for old folks making money to support their retirement, but there needs to be a firm age limit for stewardesses. After 50, Stewardesses should automatically become Gate agents or something. Not because I expect Stewardesses to be hot (although that’d be a nice perk), but because a Stewardess needs to have a little life in her. I recently was on a flight where both Stewardesses were pushing 70, and they didn’t even bother to serve us drinks or peanuts. Because they were old, we weren’t going to get anything.

* Airplane Pilots and Stewardesses listen up. The PA isn’t a microphone and you’re not Jerry Seinfeld at the comedy club. Get on, make your announcements and then hang up. Your job is to drive the plane and serve me drinks, not to put on a floor show.

AIRLINE PASSENGERS:
* When they announce that we’re getting ready to take off, that’s your cue to turn off your cell phone. Don’t be the jackass still receiving phone calls when we’re sitting on the runway waiting to take off.

* Memo to the lady sitting next to me on the plane. A light amount of friendly banter, to break the ice, is fine. But it takes two to tango. So if I’m not talking after the initial pleasantries, then you need to shut up.

* Advice to the old guy flirting with the stewardess. Buddy, she’s not into you. It’s her job to be friendly to the passengers. And yeah, she’s talking to you, but that’s probably because she’s bored. Keep the trouser snake in your pants, pal.

* There really needs to be a dress code for women travelling by plane. Something that covers your ass, navel and breasts. Yeah, I love to look at hot chicks. But unfortunately most of the girls wearing the skimpiest outfits are not hot. And at 35K feet I’m trapped looking at your skanky ass wearing a Paris Hilton miniskirt.

* People I know you love your dogs, but don’t bring them on the plane. They’re dogs. They eat their own shit if you let them. The dog will survive in the cargo with the bags.

* Memo to parent’s flying with their kiddos. Allowing your child to continually kick the seat in-front of them, scream during the entire take off or landing and go running up and down the aisles during the flight is not respecting the other passengers. At least act like you are trying to calm down your kid. And grow a sack when dealing with an upset kid on the plane.

* If your bag is the size of a Jetta, it’s not going to fit in the overhead bin on the plane. I’d have better luck pushing an apple through a straw, then helping you put your bag in the overhead bin.

* If you are assigned to the window seat on my row, then give me a little heads up, and I’ll politely stand up and let you get into your seat. But standing right on top of me, thus blocking me from getting into the aisle to let you by, is a bad strategy.

* And if you are sitting in the window seats, please use the bathroom before you get on an airplane. And never, ever ask to go right after they’ve just served our row drinks and peanuts.

* Question to the people who clap when the plane lands. What result were you expecting? If you’re so happy that we arrived without crashing, that you feel the need to clap…well, maybe you shouldn’t be flying on commercial jets.

* The lines we stand-in to check-in at the airport exist for a reason. So if you are behind me, I’m going to go before you. There’s not some magical way that you’ll get served before me. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you slip in-front of me and not notice. So quite crowding my spot in line, and just wait your fucking turn like the rest of us.

* When boarding the plane you have to walk down a fairly tight aisle. If you have a carry-on bag, try putting it in-front of you to insure you don’t swing it into anyone sitting down as you move down the aisle.

* When you are getting up to head to the can, the seatback in-front of you is not to be used to vault you into the aisle. Remember that we both “share the ride” when you decide to use my seatback to gain leverage to get out of your seat.

* When you are de-boarding the plane after the flight has landed, remember it’s not a Sunday stroll. Gather your shit up quickly and then get the fuck off the plane and up the ramp at a brisk walking speed.

BAGGAGE CLAIM:
* When retrieving your bags from baggage claim. Either get there early to hold down a spot near the chute, or move down to where there are open spots on the end. But don’t stand behind people waiting by the chute and then try to push through everyone when you see your bag.

* Advice to Baggage Handlers. It might not be as much money as you’d like, but you’ve got the job. So why don’t you give atleast 5% effort towards that job. I’m paying you to move my luggage quickly and carefully. Yet, without fail my bag takes 25 minutes to get from the plane to the baggage carousel. And that’s after you’ve tossed it around in the back, like it’s a hot potato.

* People please know what your fucking bag looks like before you head to the airport. I hate the person at the baggage carousel, who leans in from the back row to grab “their bag”. They then struggle to remove it from the baggage carousel, forcing me to assist them. Only to discover that it’s not their freaking bag. Tie a pink bow to your bag next time, Cheeto.

The Best Sports Books in Vegas…Don’t assume the beers are free…

I ran across this article on Gridskipper this morning talking about the best sportsbooks in Vegas. My buddies and I have been for the first round of the Final Four for at least 3 of the last 5 years, and I still think we’re looking for the ideal location. When it comes to a sports book, we struggle trying to find the perfect mix of free beers while you’re betting, with a “talent” laden atmosphere.

Inevitably we lean towards the better atmosphere, but I think we’re open to any advice.

We’re all in our mid to early 30’s and definitely aren’t the drinkers we were 5 years ago. That being said, I would still like to see a waitress (doesn’t have to be much to look at) come by and offer me a free beer about every half-hour. Is that so much to ask? I just want options. I’m on vacation.

I’m not a big table game guy, but I know that’s important to the rest of the group. I think everyone would be happy knowing that there’s at least a $10 blackjack table open all the time. This would eliminate at least 3 or 4 of the casinos right off the bat, as I doubt you’d see anything lower than a $25 table at the Wynn. That may be way off base, but let me know.

Back to the sports book, I’d rather not have to strategize the best way to get a seat in front of a monitor. Crowds are fine, but I don’t want to have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get a seat.

I definitely don’t need swank, but a plethora of hot chicks running around would be nice. In the same article it linked to this Vegas.com page that gives an excellent description of every major Vegas sportsbook. I haven’t had a chance to go through every one yet, but will certainly use it as a reference going forward.

At first glance at the Gridskipper article, I’d really like to check out the “luxury boxes” at the MGM. If you’re going to spend all day at the book with a large group, this might be worth it. Read on…

“MGM Grand : Though not small by any means, the MGM Grand’s Race & Sports Book is surprisingly modest compared to the titanic scope of the property at large. It’s still quite nice, comfortable, and tricked out with loads of tech toys. Plus, it’s possibly the only sports book equipped with private stadium-style “luxury boxes” for virtually enjoying sports events with a crowd of pals.”

About 5 years ago we were at The Luxor and basically had unlimited free beers as long as you were gambling. This was possibly the highlight of all my sports book experiences, and I don’t ever expect it to be this good again. It hasn’t been nearly that good since. I’m no high roller, but I think 2 drink tickets for every $300 in wagers is a little excessive. Thank you Mandalay Bay!!!

Anyways, as I mentioned before, we’re open to any and all ideas. I doubt we’d stray far from the main strip, unless it was to some place whose name rhymes with Mearmint Mino.

Am I the Only One Who Finds This Funny?

A passenger dying on an airplane, midflight.  It probably happens more than you think, but I’d never really thought about it.

The link that follows details the story of a Brit in first class, and his first hand experience.  Maybe I have a morbid sense of humor, but I can’t help but laugh when trying to envision this guy on his flight.  Kind of like an old Mr. Bean episode.

British Airways

Things I Hate - #1,297

Flying hungover. 

You’re out with your boys and you have an 8am flight and well why not let’s have a few and the next thing you know you’re in an underground bar in Greenwich Village dancing shirtless in a human sized parrot cage with a mulatto transvestite named Sure-Lee with really nice fake tits and you don’t even make it back to the hotel and you’re on the plane and the drunk fades and you realize you’re in a foil tube with 300 other people and it’s gonna crash and you’re in the back by the only toilet that “works” and the inflight meal is diarrhea chili and you’re wedged between a moley, tanktopped sumo wrestler with armpit hair like a greasy horsetail and an obese species of dumpstermouthed woman with a pimplebeard and an autistic kid (with a very comforting and understanding mother) behind you using the back of your seat as a racquetball court timing every bump with a ‘bang!’ and a midget in front of you with his seat kicked all the way back so he can fully stretch his disgusting, shrunken limbs and you know you’re gonna die but you don’t know how and the sumo wrestler and carnival bitch are timing their farts so there’s a visual burst of pubic gas surrounding your face like a stinknoose.