Sergio Garcia finally gets something right

Sergio Garcia has fallen won a Major…er, wellit’s almost a Major and probably as close as the young Spaniard will ever get.  Sergio made a par on 18 in regulation to find his way into a Playoff and then made a beautiful birdie on #17 at TPC Sawgrass to win the The Players Championship.  The tournament is commonly referred to as the “Fifthmajor” so I’m going to give Sergio partial credit on winning a Major golf tournament, because it’s probably as close as El Nino will ever get to one.

I will give Sergio genuine credit for one thing, at least he was big enough to give credit to the real reason he won the Players Championship.  Sergio said this following his victory, “First of all, I want to thank Tiger for not being here.“

Enjoy your trophy from the TPC, because Tiger will be back in the field at Torrey Pines.
(Photo courtesy NYDailyNews)

No shirt, no shoes…just golf

I feel for you if you’re not a John Daly fan, because the guy has character. How many other pro golfers, or pro athletes, would play a round of golf with a reporter…and not put on their shoes or shirt?  Dennis Rodman?  John Riggins?  It’s gotta be a pretty short list. 

 How many “cold ones” do you think Daly had before filming this piece?

Ronaldo hooking up with trannies

A funny storysurfaced about international soccer star, Ronaldo, hooking up with a couple of transvestites.  Apparently he didn’t realize the chicks were she-males, but they knew who Ronaldo was.  Because the dudes tried to extort Ronaldo to keep the story out of the press.  I guess that plan, keeping it out of the press, didn’t work. 

My biggest reaction to this story had nothing to do with the trannies, because I hear they are quite deceptive in Brazil.  I was more shocked at how much Ronaldo has let himself go.  Ronaldo always had funky hair, but what the fuck is he thinking these days.

Ronaldo needs a haircut or a comb (photo courtesy of Brahsome)

Matt Leinart Likes Them Young

Some pics got out on the innerweb of Arizona Cardinals QB Matt Leinart and some “young” ladies drinking.  Turns out the chicks in the pictures are underage co-eds from Arizona State University.

Pictures courtesy of TheDirty.

Oh Matt, I respect you more than you know.

This is the type of offseason conditioning program I could go for.

Does Billy Ray Cyrus sleep at night?

So I watched 10 minutes of a Hollywood show on E television last night. The first story was about Miley Cyrus (aka: Hannah Montana). She talked about her mega hot tour and denied rumors that she’s in love with a Jonas Brother. They showed the Jonas Brothers, otherwise I wouldn’t have known what a ‘Jonas Brother’ was. She seemed like a nice, well grounded kid..and yes, I say kid (eventhough she’s already made more money than all of us combined) because she’s under 18.

The next story that comes on is about Britney Spear’s latest exploits. Apparently she’s dating a papparazzi, who already is talking in the media about selling naked pics of Britney…and is rumored to have filmed a sex tape with Brit. Anyway, Britney and this guy are being filmed in a drug store shopping for pregnancy tests. Only the whole thing turns out to be a hoax. I’m sure a lot of you are aware of this story, especially if you are a regular reader of PerezHilton like Bond. But the point isn’t this particular story, it’s just that Britney Spears life keeps getting more and more bazaar. I mean sure it was likely that she’d wind up ‘white trash’ since she grew up in Louisiana. But when she made all of that money early in her career with her squeeky clean teen pop, I figured maybe she had saved herself from a normal wt chick’s life of booze, menthol cigarettes, belly button rings, lower back tats, waitressing, and multiple kids with different Dads. But look how crazy Britney is now…it really is startling.

So if you are the father of the current queen of teen pop, Miley Cyrus. Do you think Billy Ray Mullet gets even a wink of sleep at night? Does he stay up worrying about whether Miley will follow the path of Britney, Paris & Nicole? Or does he sleep like a baby after counting all of the money that his daughter is bringing in?

Billy Ray Cyrus and his teen daughter Miley Cyrus

Hey Billy Ray, pay attention. This is what Britney Spears used to look like when she was sweet & innocent.

This is Britney in 2007.

Be scared Billy Ray…very, very afraid. You might consider locking the doors at night to make sure Miley doesn’t get out.

Poop for cash…

Remember back in college when you considered subjecting your body to anything, just to make a few bucks. Donate plasma, donate sperm, or maybe take a few pills for 6 weeks.

Check out this new study being sponsored by the Environmental Studies Department at Oberlin College…click here.  There’s even a party at the end.

This is a clean blog, so I won’t get into details.  See for yourself.

I’ve got lots of fraternity brothers that would have tried to get rich off this thing.

Week 8 - NFL Picks

Old Coach stacked some cheese last week.  18-8.  That brings the yearly numbers to:  100-90-12.  If you’re making your $100 bet on each of my picks, you’re down a whopping $20 for the season.   The golden lock hit again.  That’s 5-1-1 on the season.  Haven’t lost a lock since week 1.

The picks…

Cleveland +3 at St. Louis (44.5) - Over

Steven Jackson is back.  So what.  Were the Rams worth a shit when he played?  Who would have thought the Browns would be laying points away to the Rams in week 8.  I’ve been going under against the Browns and it hasn’t been working.

Detroit +5 at Chicago (44) - Over

Bears are the sucker bet of the week.

Indy -6.5 at Carolina (44) - Over

I’m confused by this line.  Seems simple.

Giants at Miami +9.5 - (4 - Under

The Giants keep proving me wrong.  Both of these numbers are too big.

Oakland +7.5 at Vince and the Titans (40.5) - Under

The Titans don’t get away from people.  They’ll win, of course.  Glad to have Vince back.

Philly +1  at Minnesota (37.5) - Over

I refuse - refuse - to believe Minnesota is worth a shit.  Philly wins by at least two touchdowns.  Put ‘em in your reverse teasers.

Pittsburgh at Cincy +3.5 (4 - Over

Steelers are sucker bet of the week #2.  Shootout.  Cincy wins outright.

Buffalo +3 at Jets (37) - Over

Oh, how the Jets screwed me last week.  Buffalo is spunky.  I see ‘em covering a lot from here out.

Texans +11.5 at San Diego (45) - Under

Both teams hard to figure.  I made my mind up when I decided the Texans could actually win the game.  It’s possible.  Therefore, double digits = too many.

Jacksonville at Tampa Bay -3.5 (32) - Over

32?  (Doing my best Jim Mora impersonation).  32?  32?

New Orleans at San Francisco +3 (40) - Over

Can’t sell myself on either team.  I’ll take the points.

Washington at New England -16.5 (4 - Over

Cameragate is the best thing to happen to gambling since Elway doubled his horse steroid intake in ‘97.

Green Bay +3 at Denver (41.5) - Over

Tough call until you remember Brett Favre is playing on Monday night. 

Think Coach and Belushi backstage at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show…

Just Say No to Drugs! Specifically Cocaine.

The picture below is courtesy of the Daily Mail. It shows what is left of a field of corn in the Netherlands after a driver who was high on cocaine led the police on a high speed chase through a cornfield. Four Dutch police cars were destroyed in the chase before the driver finally drove into a ditch. The driver was arrested on a variety of charges, including; driving under the influence, possession of a controlled substance and assault on a corn stalk.

Personally, I think that could be a great form of recreation. Offer a controlled environment where people can get high (on the drug of their choice) and drive around like maniacs through a field of corn. The base junkies would go flying around at 100+ miles an hour having the time of their lives. While anyone on shrooms would just sit in the car too freaked out to drive.

What is your drug/addiction of choice? Mine these days is just booze.

What would you pay?

 What would you pay to…

1.  See Maria Sharapova topless?

Coach pays:  One grand

2.  Wear a sweaty pair of of Scarlett Johansson’s panties?

Coach pays:  Eight hundred

3.   Be able to dunk like Dominique in his prime for one week?

Coach pays:  One grand

4.  Throw a football like Peyton Manning for a month?

Coach pays:  Five hundred

(Peyton, why the long face?  You just won the Superbowl.) 

5.  Drive it like Tiger for a week?

Coach pays:  Five grand

6.  Give Jessica Biel an hour long upper thigh massage?

Coach pays:  Three grand (though Coach doubts he can make the full hour)

7.  To be as fast as a roided up Ben Johnson circa 1988 for a month?

Coach pays:  One grand

(Is that Arsenio Hall behind him?)  

8.  Putt like Ben Crenshaw for two months?

Coach pays:  One grand

9.  Be as tough Chuck Lidell for three days?

Coach pays:  Five hundred

10.  Get in the Octagon with Sergio Garcia?

Coach pays:  Whatever they’re asking.

That’s Coach on the right.