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A Look Inside the Mind of the 30-Something Guy.

Archive for May, 2007

My Last Meal on Earth

Posted by Belushi on May 31, 2007

No, I’m not dying. But if I were dying. If I were going to the electric chair. And I had to pick one last meal on Earth, what would I pick for it?

Here’s what my last supper would be:

* 1 Jumbo Shrimp with Cocktail Dipping Sauce.
* Small serving Chick-Fil-A Chicken Nuggets.
* 1 Chicken Fajita Taco. Garnished with shredded cheese & pico.
* 1/2 Egg Salad Sandwich. (Or Chicken Salad)
* Garlic Mashed Potatoes.
* 1/2 Ice Berg Lettuce Chopped Salad with Hidden Valley Ranch dressing.
* Orange (Hi-C) Soda from McDonald’s.
* Cheesecake (probably with something on top).

Estimated calories: 3500

But if you are dying anyway, then who’s that worried about caloric intake. It’s time to woof down some food.

Chick-fil-A Nuggets
I wouldn’t need quite this many nuggets from Chick-fil-A. Plus, I prefer the Honey Mustard dipping sauce.

WHAT WOULD YOU EAT FOR YOUR LAST MEAL?

Posted in About Us | 2 Comments »

What I Would Do For Cash…

Posted by Coach on May 31, 2007

What I Would Do…

$48,000:  Push out one loud, stinky fart a day in public for a year.

$100,000: Eat every meal out of a (clean) diaper for a year. 

$110,000:  Conspicuously eat a booger in public once a week for a year.

$235,000:  Thoroughly wash a friend’s balls after a two hour sand volleyball game.

$370,000:  Piss my bed every night for a year.

$580,000:  Glance Mike Tyson’s direction.

$875,000:  Sneak into Rampage Jackson’s bedroom and wake him up with my version of the dog howl.

howl1.jpg

$1,000,000:  Clean the grooves on Sergio Garcia’s wedge - once.

Posted in Funny, Stuff You Should Know | 2 Comments »

Cars That I Would Buy Today

Posted by Belushi on May 30, 2007

If money were not an object, which cars would I buy? Great question. I’m going to preface it by saying that I’m typically an SUV guy, and I’ve never had an infatuation with sports cars. So I’m not going to pick a $500K Ferrari just because it’s more expensive. These are the cars I would really buy. They are all 2007 models.

So what vehicle would I buy if money were not an object?

1. Range Rover
* Yeah, I know it’s a shitty car that just serves as a status symbol. But it appeals to me. I guess I wasn’t held enough as a child or something. And yes, my dick is normal sized. Retail price starts around $90K.
RangeRover

2. Mercedes SL600 Roadster
* I’m not usually a fan of “small” cars, but this one is the exception. It’s the best driving Mercedes in their fleet. And starting at only $132K it’s practically a bargain.
MercedesSL600

3. Cadillac ESV
* The BIG car on my list. This SUV first caught my eye when Tiki Barber started doing commercials for it last football season. It’s basically a really expensive suburban. And in a normal life, I’d never drop more than $60K for a souped up Suburban…but hey I said this was a game. So I’d pick an ESV. Plus, I’ve always wanted to say I drive a Caddy.
CadillacESV

4. Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet
* Apologies to BMW, but this is the ultimate driving machine. A 2-seater that can hit 160 on the highway, yet hugs every corner. I’m not sure how long I’d survive if I bought this car, but it would be a fun existence. Expect to pay more than $100K for this ride.
Porsche911

5. Lexus LS
* These Japs make a great car. And this is the top of the line Lexus. It’s a huge sedan with tons of room inside, yet it’s loaded with luxury. These start around $70K…a loaded one might set you back $85K.
LexusLS

Posted in About Us | 1 Comment »

Ashley Judd is a proud wife this weekend…

Posted by JamesBond on May 29, 2007

judd.jpg

Credit: Michael Hickey/WireImage.com/USMagazine

Actress Ashley Judd is all smiles following her husband Dario Franchitti’s win at the Indy 500. I don’t know racing but supposedly Dario is a first class guy that deserved this win.

Too bad he had to celebrate Winner’s Circle indoors due to the rain, but he’s going home to a wet Ashley Judd, so I don’t feel all that bad for him.

Posted in Celebrity, Sports | 1 Comment »

Matthew McConaughey plays himself in every movie…

Posted by JamesBond on May 29, 2007

matt.jpg

Credit: x17agency.com/USMagazine

Matthew McConaughey hitches a lift from a friend on the way to the set of his new movie, “Surfer Dude.”

Posted in Celebrity | No Comments »

Hottest Female Tennis Players 2007

Posted by Belushi on May 27, 2007

They’re young, tan, toned and can go for hours and hours. Female tennis players - you gotta love them.

But who are the hottest female tennis players in the World today? We’ve got a list here of the top 10 hotties from the WTA and women’s tennis. These are the best of the best, and the photos below show just how hot and sexy these ladies are.

The top 10 hottest women’s tennis players:

1) Maria Sharapova (20 year old Russian)
* She’s the best looking tennis player in the World. Period. Not convinced? Look at that 2nd picture below, it’ll change your mind.
Maria Sharapova
Maria Sharapova Tennis

2) Daniela Hantuchova (23 year old from Slovakia)
* Closed the gap between her and Sharapova. Daniela is a very fine young woman.
Daniela H
Daniela Hantuchova

3) Gisale Dulko (22 year old from Argentina)
* A young, hot latino tennis player. What more could you ask for?
Gisale Dulko

4) Maria Kirilenko (20 year old Russian)
* I’d pay to see her and Sharapova play doubles together.
Maria Kirielenko
Maria Kirilenko tennis

5) Elena Dementieva (26 year old Russian)
* Starting to slip down the list a little bit as she ages. But she’s still one of the hottest women in tennis.
Elena Dementieva
Elena D Tennis

6) Anastasia Myskina (26 year old Russian)
* She looks gooooooooooood!
Anastasia Myskina

7) Jelena Dokic (24 year old Serb)
* An accomplished tennis player and a hottie. Huge rack for a tennis player.
Jelena Dokic
Jelena Dokic Playing Tennis

8.) Nicole Vaidisova (18 year old Czech)
* Nicole’s what we call up and coming. In 3 years she’ll be up in the top 3 with Sharapova and Hantuchova.
Nicole Vaidisova
Nicole V

9) Meghann Shaughnessy (28 year old American)
* A sexy woman. She’s older than all of the other girls on this list, so props to her for how she looks.
Meghann Shaughnessy

10) Marta Domachowska (21 year old from Poland)
* Kind of a big nose, but a great body. Might have the best body in women’s tennis.
Marta D Tennis Smaller
Marta D

11) Alona Bondarenko (23 year old from the Ukraine)
* Honorable mention for this hottie from the Ukraine. She’s got a sexy nose ring.
Alana Bondarenko Tennis

So what does this list tell us about women’s tennis?
* There is some serious heat here, so I need to be watching more women’s tennis.
* The WTA needs to start marketing some of these young, attractive stars. That’ll bring the male and lesbian viewers.
* The former Soviet Union (USSR) is pumping out some serious “talent” into the world of tennis.
* The USA no longer has a strangehold on women’s tennis…and doesn’t have any hotties to promote either. Boo!
* I think this is proof why women’s tennis is stronger than men’s tennis. The WTA has more marketable athletes with the bevy of beauties coming up through the women’s tennis ranks. Women’s tennis is looking strong in the years to come.

I’m sure some will question why I didn’t put Serena Williams on this list. Because she’s usually in the conversation, when people talk about good looking tennis players. The truth is I think she looks too much like a man. Also, I’m not sure if she’s still a regular on the WTA tour. And this list is for active women’s tennis players. Notice I didn’t include Anna Kournikova either.

Bond, I figured this would be your topic. But I’ll let you focus your review of the guys.

Posted in Chicks, Sports | 11 Comments »

Stacy Keibler Loves Her Donkey

Posted by Belushi on May 26, 2007

She loves her donkey…her pear…her rear end…her backside…her caboose…her trunk…her bootie…her finely sculpted - tight, tan ass. And Stacy has every right to love it.

Is Stacy Keibler one of the hottest chicks on the planet? Yes.

Does Stacy Keibler love to show off her sweet, sweet ass (aka: her donkey)? Yes.

It’s the weekend, and a holiday weekend to boot. So I figured some photos of one of the World’s sexiest chicks would get things kicked off right. No theme for these set of pictures, except — Stacy Keibler is fucking hot!

Some nice photos of Stacy Keibler:

Stacy Keibler in White See Thru Lingerie
Stacy Keibler looks hot in white.

Stacy Keibler Red
Stacy Keibler looking hot in red & black.

Stacy Keibler in Bed
Stacy looks very inviting in bed.

Stacy Keibler in Black Dress
Stacy Keibler looking sexy dressed in her black cocktail dress.

Stacy Keibler Red Dress
Ms. Keibler looking fetching in a red dress.

Stacy Keibler in Pink
Stacy Keibler looking mega hot in some pink panties.

Okay, okay…let’s get to Stacy’s “Donkey Show”. We all know that Stacy Keibler loves to show off her best asset…her sweet ass. Well here are some pics of her showing off Stacy Keibler’s butt.

Stacy Keibler White Thong
Stacy showing off her best asset.

Stacy Keibler Ass
Keibler showing off the junk in her trunk in a black bra and pink panties.

Keibler Ass
Stacy showing off her perfect ass and tight, toned, tan body.

Stacy Keibler in Thong
A classic Stacy Keibler ass shot. That damn lucky pink thong.

Stacy Keibler Donkey
Stacy Keibler lying around in bed, just showing off her sweet, sweet donkey.

Stacy Keibler Stripper Pole
Stacy’s ass looking perfect as she works a stripper pole.

Stacy Keibler Tan Ass
Finally we conclude with Stacy’s radiant smile and perfect, tanned ass.

Stacy Keibler is one of the hottest chicks on the planet. She’s got a gorgeous face and smile. A sparkling, energetic personality. And one of the best bodies on the planet. Her long legs and sexy ass are as good as it gets.

Here’s more coverage: Stacy Keibler shaking her ass on Spring Break.

Posted in Celebrity, Chicks | No Comments »

Lazy people in Las Vegas need “The Rascal”…

Posted by JamesBond on May 25, 2007

 scooter2.jpg

I guess it’s just been one of those days.

I’m the only one left here at the office on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend, and I’ve got nothing better to do other than to surf the far reaches of the Internet.  You’re obviously saying to youself, “…just go home you idiot!”.  I wish it were that easy.  We’ve got a FedEx pick-up that I’m waiting on.

Anyways, I posted that picture earlier this morning of that lady pushing her baby stroller (with kid inside) while riding on a Segway herself.  I don’t know the lady personally, but she better have an f-ing good excuse for that kind of crap.  How lazy are we these days?  Was she wearing a cast that I couldn’t see?  From the picture it actually looks likes she’s working much harder than had she just been hoofing it on her own two feet.  Dumb.

Nonetheless, in my boredom, I ran across this article from MSNBC about the increasing number of people in Vegas that are renting motorized scooters to get around The Strip, and even inside the casinos.  These are the exact same vehicles usually reserved for the handicapped and the elderly.

scooter.jpg

Link

Am I over-reacting here, or is this not ridiculous?  Get off your asses!!  I’m assuming these people are all married because they sure as hell aren’t getting laid riding around on one of those things.  Not even Brad Pitt could make “The Rascal” look cool.  I realize the strip is just huge now, but get in a cab if you feel like you have to see everything.

“It was all the walking,” 27-year-old Simon Lezama said on his red Merits Pioneer 3. Lezama, a trim and fit-looking restaurant manager from Odessa, Texas, rented it on day three of his five-day vacation, “and now I can drink and drive, be responsible and save my feet.”  Who goes to Vegas for 5 days Simon?  How were the nickel slots at the MGM?  Did Celine get a standing ovation?

To be fair, they’re not doing anything illegal.  The rental agencies do not discriminate, as they’re willing rent to anyone willing to pay, and the renters are entitled to all the privileges afforded to the actually handicapped.

Just my opinion, but save “The Rascal” for those that need it.  If you’re enjoying Vegas the way it was meant to be enjoyed, you should be too drunk to drive that thing anyways.  It’s not even a stretch of my imagination envisioning my buddy Mikey doubled over on that thing in his urine-soaked khakis without spilling a drop of his Crown and Coke, and still managing to bitch out the new guy for splitting kings.  Ah, Vegas.

That’s all I’ve got.  Enjoy your 3-day weekend!

Posted in Stuff You Should Know, Travel | No Comments »

Sign of the times…

Posted by JamesBond on May 25, 2007

segway.jpg

Posted in Funny | No Comments »

10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces of All-Time

Posted by Belushi on May 25, 2007

Why is Juanita Vanoy Jordan smiling?

Juanita Jordan

Because she stands to land millions from her divorce from Michael Jordan. Reports estimate Juanita could get upwards of $150 Million dollars in her divorice settlement with MJ. His Airness and Juanita were married in 1989, so that’s almost $11 Mil per year. Or $50 Million per kid (they have 3 children together). At $150 Million this will easily be the largest celebrity divorce of all-time.

Unless…the Paul McCartney and Heather Mills divorce tops it? Or, it’s topped by the next huge celeb divorce. Because the two constants in the celebrity and entertainment world are that; the money keeps getting bigger and the divorce’s keep getting nastier. See Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger’s custody dispute as proof splits are more nasty than they’ve ever been.

According to Forbes magazine, the other top 10 most expensive divorces in entertainment history are:

2) Neil Diamond’s divorce from Marcia Murphey in 1995. It cost Neil an estimated $150 million. That could buy a lot of red, red wine.

3) Movie mogul, Steven Spielberg’s divorce from his ex-wife Amy Irving cost an estimated $100 million. That amount was half of the fortune Spielberg had amassed. Although it occurred in 1989 and Steve has earned that money back many times over since then. Spielberg’s net worth today is estimated to be north of $3 billion dollars.

4) Harrison Ford paid out $85 mil when he divorced wife Melissa Mathison.

5) Kevin Costner gave up $80 million bucks to Cindy Silva when they split.

6) It’s estimated that Paul McCartney will pay approximately $60 million to Heather Mills to settle their case. Which would rank 6th all-time in celeb divorce totals. Although, the number could wind up much higher and move Sir Paul up the list. Lesson to those rich ex-Beatles out there, always sign a pre-nup.

7) Mega movie maker, James Cameron, paid his ex-wife the ex-actress, Linda Hamilton, more than $50 million.

8.) Michael Douglas paid his ex, Diandra Douglas, $45 mil. He also threw in a couple of mansions. Then Michael went and married young hottie, Catherine Zeta Jones. That’s a good way to heal the pain from writing those big divorce checks.
Michael Douglas
Michael looks like he’s recovering nicely from his divorce to Diandra.

9) Hello…is it me you’re looking for? Lionel Richie paid his ex-wife, Diane Richie over $20 million to settle. Then Lionel’s daughter Nicole spent another $20 million of Lionel’s money on bad clothes.
Nicole Richie
Yikes Nicole, what were you thinking when you got dressed?

10) British rocker, Mick Jagger, has been famous for his inability to “keep it in his pants”. Those infidelities cost him approximately $20 million bucks (dollars, not pounds) when his ex-wife and model Jerry Hall filed for divorce.

So fellas what’s the lesson to be learned here? If you are a very rich dude, then treat your lady right or you may pay out the nose. Either that, or make sure you get a pre-nuptial agreement and a team of very good lawyers.

Posted in Celebrity, Marriage | No Comments »